[Alpha-Omega]

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight
so that it would not blow away in the wind. 

 A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam.   
I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?" 

 "Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat." 

 "But madam, you must know that you are
not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest. 

 The woman looked down,
then back up at the man
and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there
is 85 years old.   
I just bought this hat yesterday!"