[DEACH]

(Sent to me by Amanda)

Helpful Hints for Recomendation Letters

You're called upon for an opinion of a friend who is
extremely lazy. You don't want to lie --- but you also don't
want to risk losing even a lazy friend. Try this line: ``In my
opinion,'' you say as sincerely as you can manage, ``you
will be very fortunate to get this person to work for you.''

This gem of double meaning is the creation of Robert
Thornton, a professor of economics at Lehigh University
in Bethlehem, PA. Thornton was frustrated about an
occupational hazard for teachers, having to write letters
of recommendation for people with dubious qualifications,
so he put together an arsenal of statements that can be
read two ways. He calls his collection the Lexicon of
Inconspicuously Ambiguous Recommendations. Or
``LIAR'', for short.
``[LIAR] may be used to offer a negative opinion of
the personal qualities, work habits or motivation of the
candidate while allowing the candidate to believe that it
is high praise,'' Thornton explained last week.

Some examples from LIAR:

To describe a person who is totally inept: ``I most
enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no
qualifications whatsoever.''

To describe an ex-employee who had problems
getting along with fellow workers: ``I am pleased to
say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine.''

To describe a candidate who is so unproductive that
the job would be better left unfilled: ``I can assure you
that no person would be better for the job.''

To describe a job applicant who is not worth further
consideration: ``I would urge you to waste no time in
making this candidate an offer of employment.''

To describe a person with lackluster credentials: ``All in
all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate
or recommend him too highly.''

Thornton pointed out that LIAR is not only useful in preserving
friendships, but it also can help avoid serious legal trouble in a
time when lawshave eroded the confidentiality of letters of
recommendation.

In most states, he noted, job applicants have the right to read
the letters of recommendations and can even file suit against the
writer if the contents are negative.

When the writer uses LIAR, however, ``whether perceived
correctly or not by the candidate, the phrases are virtually
litigation-proof,'' Thornton said.
 
 

[Arkcon]

Or just have Catbert write it for you ...

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/games/career/html/questions.html