A: Only God knows why. Most likely, the nature of your toluenesilfinyl group is more polare and more soluble in benzene than in ether.
B. You need a weak acid to destroy the excess Grignard reagent (also, the Mg coordinated intermediate). If you use a stronger source of protons, like methanol, you run the risk of a highly volatile and exothermic reaction when you gret rid of the Magnesium.