there's a whole unifying theory of hard/soft acid/base chemistry. It's a lot of handwaving, and I don't fully understand it all, but it can be useful at times.
http://www.meta-synthesis.com/webbook/43_hsab/HSAB.htmlBasically, to a first approximation, large, weak, relatively stable compounds (cuprates, etc) are weak, slower, they get pushed around by bullies. They'll form the more stable product (Michael product, gives more stable C=O double bond).
Small, compact, high energy compounds (Grignards, organolithiums) are harder, more energetic and react at the kinetic site (1,2 addition, gives allylic alcohols).
I don't know if that helps or not.