I graduated last year with a BSc in chemistry. I achieved a 2ii (58.5%) which was not a massive shock since I went from a high first to a 2ii in second year and couldnt make the drop back up in final year.
I was on course for a first/2i but I failed to hit the target. I actually had to leave uni in my first year after three months due to illness. A year later they re instated me and I got a first. I was so happy, but when second year hit, I got ill again, panicked and started re learning first year material. By doing this I neglected a lot of second year revision. I was so scared of losing my good high grades I tried to learn everything at once.... And I got a 2ii. Final year went by ok but illness struck again. I went from a 64% average to a 58% average. Had I kept my 64% average I would have left with a 2i and a lot happier. I have felt like a failure ever since.
I have currently enrolled onto an MSc in drug discovery and have spent the past year saving up for it. Also, the past year, I have been re learning all the Organic chemistry I can.
My career plan was simple. Obtain 2i or first at BSc. Get onto a PhD in the field of orgaic chemistry.
Then I had to re think and find an MSc then a PhD, but I really do not think I will get anywhere with that 2ii hanging over me. My lecturers tell me that I am a good strong student who has had a run of bad luck and it will all work out. All I have to do is stay positive. Two organic lecturers were impressed with my knowledge of organic chemistry.
But Im finding it hard to stay positive because of this over bearing feeling of failure, especially since some people whom I graduated with obtained 2i's with very little work (Most of them crammed at the last minute and I spent months revising and still got a 2ii... It angers me that I am either too stupid, and they are better than me). I feel I made mistakes with my module choices. I took the hard modules and only the top students took those. I feel like I over shot my ability and I should have taken the easy modules to the 2i.
Should I give up on my goal of obtaining a PhD and just settle for any old job that comes my way? All I have ever wanted to do since A Level was become a synthetic organic chemist. Nothing else (apart from maybe analytical chemistry) interests me enough to want it as a job.