Two things:
Methyl is only electron donating through a hyperconjugation type mechanism, and that works much more effectively in the case of an electron deficient center such as a carbocation. In the case of like a O-CH3 group, the lone pairs of oxygen and the C-H bonds of the methyl group will repel each other so that they don't overlap, essentially minimizing the ability of methyl to donate electrons through hyperconjugation. This is similar to the way that antiaromatic molecules distort so that they're actually "non-aromatic," if you've studied that.
To compare to the other situation, a methyl group next to a carbocation will be *attracted* so that it's rotated into a conformation where the C-H bonding orbital overlaps well with the empty p orbital of the carbocation. That allows the electron donation to happen.
In other words, methyl really only donates electron density to things that "need" it.
Methyl groups are actually a little bit electron withdrawing if you just look at inductive effect. This is because carbon is more electronegative than hydrogen. You can also see this trend in the chemical shift of CH2 vs. CH3 protons, the methyl protons are more shielded.
Okay, then the other effect;
In phenol-type compounds, there can be a concerted mechanism where something pulls the proton off the OH, and the electron pair enters the ring and pushes another pair out to react with the electrophile. In other words, it reacts like a phenolate and not just a phenol, which is way faster.
Hope this helps. Like a lot of things in chemistry, it is complicated.