No, I mean, what IS it? I think you and I have been down this road before, but do not be discouraged. It is very confusing, I know. I still get confused about it.
The standard heat of formation of any substance is the amount of energy it takes to form 1 mole of the substance from its pure elemental starting materials in their standard states. Note that temperature isn't what makes the heat of formation "standardized". The heat of formation is specified for a specific temperature, and it is USUALLY 298 K, but it doesn't have to be. Many students get confused on this point, so we should be clear about that up front.
The standard enthalpy change for a reaction (formation of products from reactants), as you know, is found by adding up all the standard heats of formation for the products and subtracting from them all the heats of formation for the reactants (scaled by stoichiometry). So what does the standard enthalpy change represent? Essentially it is the amount of energy that would hypothetically be gained or lost if you broke down all the reactants into their pure elemental starting materials in their standard states, and then formed the products from those starting materials. Importantly, there is a specific quantity of reacting substances implicit to this definition - since heats of formation are specified for 1 mole of substance, so to is the standard enthalpy change for a reaction specified for a certain stoichiometric amount of reactants being converted COMPLETELY into the stoichiometric amount of products.
Note that this kind of reaction never actually happens. There is never total conversion of reactants to products and it's unlikely you're going to have exactly one mole of a starting material. So what's the point? The point is that it serves as a reference point for real reactions of like kind. Because enthalpies are difficult to measure exactly.
So that's ΔH° for a reaction. And typically we can assume that it is temperature independent. Which means that the amount of energy it takes to form 1 mole of molecule AB from its pure elemental starting materials A and B at 298 K is roughly the same amount of energy it takes to do the same process at 288 K or 308 K. For small temperature differences, it's not a bad approximation, because.... well, I'll let you think about that.
What, then, is ΔH for a reaction? ΔH for a reaction is the amount of enthalpy gained or lost for a process between its starting point and its ending point. Note (and this is the most important thing to realize) that the ending point for a reaction process is NOT total conversion of reactants to products. It's going to equilibrium, which will almost always involve some reactants and products in solution at the same time. ΔH may also be temperature independent, but this does not mean that ΔH is the same as ΔH°. This common error is due to the equally common misconception that the "standard" in "standard enthalpy change" has anything to do with temperature, per se. Probably this error arises due to "standard" being used in other contexts like "standard temperature and pressure" for a lot of other thermodynamical topics. In that it's probably an unfortunate choice of words, but it is what it is. "Standard" here means that it's a reference point, a standardized state of a substance - it is a way to standardize enthalpy changes (or entropy or Gibbs energy changes) for a wide range of reactions performed under many different conditions. Remember, thermodynamical quantities like enthalpy, entropy and so forth are (almost) always measured as relative values. You have to establish a common reference point; otherwise reported values have no context. This is the purpose of using "standardized" values. Frankly this is an important point that most textbooks just don't explain very well, and it's no wonder so many students are confused by it.
So, to recap: ΔH° is the amount of enthalpy gained or lost when taking a specified amount of reactants and converting them completely to products. ΔH is the amount of enthalpy gained or lost between the starting (non-equilibrium) point and the equilibrium point. ΔH depends on the specific conditions and quantities of reactants/products at your starting point; ΔH° does not, because it's a standardized reference value.
This line of discussion applies equally to standard enthalpies and standard Gibbs energies. If you know the standard Gibbs energy change for a reaction, then you can easily predict which way the reaction will proceed from a nonequilibrium position. This is the whole point of having the standardized values.
You may want to check out Wikipedia's article on Standard State. It actually does a good job of explaining what "standard" means, for better than most textbooks I've come across.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_state