See the thing about decaffeination with solvents is, whether you use ethyl acetate or super-critical CO2, is you remove some flavor chemicals. The secret is, you remove the caffeine from the spent solvent, and reuse the now flavored solvent to decaffeinate the next batch.
Yes it is important to use food grade solvents. And yes, traces of ethyl acetate are always left behind. Possibly not a health risk quantity when done industrially, but you can't be sure at home. But if you feel like you can get a pressure vessel you can trust, supercritical CO2 at home sound awesome to me.