[Grundalizer]

Ah yes, I cooked up this Gem while waiting for people in front of me to use the NMR.  We were all sitting in the NMR room telling each other crappy jokes (actually it was just me telling them) when this popped into my head.

Helium, Oxygen, and Carbon walk into a bar.  After a few drinks they start talking about their sex lives.  Helium states proudly that he is happy being alone and has never found anyone he'd like to "bond" with.  Oxygen pipes in and says that he's been with his significant other forever now, and he's happy being bonded with one other person.  Carbon laughs at both of them and says, you guys don't know how to have fun, I regularly do four at a time.

[408]

But oxygen can have two partners at once!  Like in an alcohol or ether!

Change to hydrogen and it works

Phosphorus is a dirty girl.  She can be with 5 at once

I will not touch the jokes possible from compounds that have high oxidation states under extreme conditions 

ok, you can work out the fine points, but fluorine likes to have its way with xenon 

[Grundalizer]

haha yeah there are so many places you can take this, you've inspired me now

[chenbot]

Oh that Sodium, he and water never get along. Sodium will be sitting there, bonding with Chlorine, and BAM! water comes over a drags him away. Then you know what happens? They start reacting to each other and Sodium just explodes.


But I can tell you one thing. Carbon was always a people person. He was always going out with 4 elements at a time, showing off his indestructibility in large numbers. Even Avagadro got along well with Carbon.

[skyjumper]

Iodine is pretty pimp. You never see it alone. (works with any diatomic element...)

[Benzenelover]

Catalysts are the pimps. Look at Platinum with all it's bling. It's worth a ton of money because it hooks up all those oxygen atoms with unburnt hydrocarbons.

[typhoon2028]

In da club, Oxygen gets surrounded by Hydrogen and makes it rain.

Oxygen and Iron have been together for so long, they have no sex life.  They are rusty

[Benzenelover]

Fluorine can get almost any atom he wants. Even brags he got one of the noble gasses to put out.

[ActivationEnergy]

this reminds me how water is bent. and goes around as a threesome