IMHO, there is no such thing as "the one and only principle" which allows for the decision where and why for example a nucleophile will attack a molecule with a multitude of potential sites that might be available.
"polarity" is one of the aspects to consider, yes, but besides that a lot of other aspects might come into play: solvent matrix, steric aspects, ΔG of total reaction, kinetics...
... and sometimes even (by equilibrium) unfavoured initial intermediates might become relevant, as only their successors are the stable products (or the most stable products) in town.
... as is the case with the protonation of nitiric acid with subsequent water elimination, leading to NO2+ - if we're talking aromatic electrophilic substitution , that is ( in other circumstances, this particle would be completely irrelevant, as it will vanish in a New York minute )
in this case, however, this particle is being discussed, not because it is "likely", but because , by the end of the day , it's the only game in town.
regards
Ingo