[Alpha-Omega]

Caller:  Hi,,I'm calling to get help on my ______ instrument

Tech:  OK, sir what seems to be the problem?

Caller:  I've go high background...and the baseline looks wavey....and hey we hear y'all have 30 inches of snow there in Chcago?

OK small talk...OH BAD SIGN...he is a talker....OK bad water...suppressor fouled...trans metals probably...Now let me get him off my phone....

Tech: Yes. sir, the weather is pretty bad....we have over a foot of snow.

Caller: Say we all hear the temperature gets real low there...is that right....like sometimes -30 or -40.

Tech:  It sure does..

OH NOT THIS PLEASE NOT THIS....I have enough problems today....15 inches of snow Trans Am rear wheel drive...truck drives doing 90 and spraying 30 gallons of cold ice water at my side windows...ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caller:  So y'all have problems breathing there during the winter?

WTF...what??  What the hell does this mean?  DO NOT ASK DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tech:  Sir?  What?

Caller:  Well, the freezing point of oxygen is -40 so we were all thinking it is hard for so many people to breath ther in the winter...

OMG WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!   OH so then Alaska and Antarctica...what is going on up there???  What NIGHT/DAWN of the Dead....Where do they get these ideas....

OK that is it...let me fix this

Tech:  Sir, in Chicago we breathe AIR...so we are all ok!!!!  Air has a lower freezing point...You see in Chicago...we just have a higher abundance of AIR as opposed to oxygen...You know it is urban and the pollution and Greenhouse effect...son we have alot more AIR here..

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Caller:  OH so no there is more AIR there?  I see we were all worried that there might not be enough oxygen for y'all with those low temperatures..

OMG ...he bought it...he bought it...I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEE....ALMOST One more sentence...just one more...

Tech:  No, sir, everyone in Chicago is just fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone Please EXPLAIN THIS TO ME....EXPLAIN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mitch]

Maybe he was just screwing with you?

[Alpha-Omega]

No he was not and there was this long conversation...he was NOT kidding...and that is NOT the first time I have heard that...I have heard that a few times from people in TEXAS..

OH...not my call...that was CO's call...BUT when he was repeating what the guy was saying...I IM'ed CO and told him what to say.....because I used that line before...Then CO asked me to help.....this guy was ...I mean he really believed what he was saying...

OK way too many details about the ellderly...and lack of heat...so how the low temperatures deprived them of OXYGEN...so they suffocated in their unheated apartments.....

OK it comes from some deep seated belief planted in .,..in ...OK do not know where or how...but it is there..and we have the tape!!!!!!

[Alpha-Omega]

Well, going down to -35 today....with any LUCK I will just stop breathing....WOO HOO Y'all..

[lemonoman]

This inspires ME to f&#$ with Tech Support people.

"So what are you wearing?"

[Alpha-Omega]

Gray Tee-shirt pale blue destructed low rise jeans..favorite Harley Jacket...Favorite boots...spurs are in the console...

BABY...fair is fair..What are you wearing? WOO HOO!!!!!!

AHHH, I did once get a call from a man in LA....he head a auto sampler that was crushing vials....and _ _ _ _ _ _  _ knew all about it...and could not fix it....and he got al XXX with me on the phone.....sent me all kinds of invitations to his FRIENDSHIP sites...

HE GOT BLOCKED....Generally, we do not care who you are/were/may be dating...or all the details of your personal relationships...LOL

AND BTW:  auto samplers are rated to use only vendor's vials...if he was using a different vendor's vials...YES ...they will/may/could be crushed....especially if that SACRED BOOK....The User Manual...dictates this to be so....!!!!  LOL

Engineers are pretty danm good at what they do....they usually do not just make stuff up...plus they do not like to write useless sentencees...

LOL it is -40 right now...and on the way home we passed Aa REFRIGERATED OXYGEN tanker...we were so worried it might melt...LMAO....

Do you really think you can screw with tech support...HA HA HA HA HA...Just look at all the stuff we get daily....the daily stuff we hear...and we have stats on these calls...the training we give is gauged/based on the level of stupidity we hear. 

Based on what we hear everday, obviously we still have set our expectations too HIGH!!!! 

OH please just had a company run their application at 70 degrees C....they had blown thru 11 suppressors..that is $11,000.00 in suppressors...UUUUMMMM after 2 ..I would make a cencerted effort to do a little research  sure my application could be run at 70 C....

NOT heard of...40 degrees is the highest temp in the app notes....

In fact, the detector  was dysfunctional....according to the customer for 'No apparant reason...."   

LOL yes...70 degrees is rather high...and the glue from the suppressors melted and was flowing thru the detector...