Once again thanks, i think i have a better grasp of it now, though i have still have more questions. I think the main reason for me still being slightly confused is that im trying to classify everything exactly (ie. if it is EDG then it is activating thus it must be O/P directing...etc etc) with so many variables (I effect, M effect, EDG/EWG, Activating/Deactivating, Meta directing/Ortho-Para directing) which is probably impossible (always exceptions) plus my level of knowledge isnt that great haha.
You have I effect and M effect which dictate the rest of the variables. Understand the base mechanics, and you don't need to remember all the other "variables".
1) Halogens still confuse me, the site you referred me to said they are an exception as they are both inductive electron withdrawing (electronegativity) and resonance donating (lone pair donation). However a substituent like NH2 is also electronegative and has a loine pair to donate, yet it is still activating and O/P directing.
Reread the site, Halogens are O/P directing.
2) Are any substituents on a benzene ring ever going to be +I (well at least out of the more common groups that all have N, O or a halogen which mean the substituent is more electornegative then C).
Are alkyl groups +I?
Yup, they are. They're right in the middle of the list on that other side under "weakly activating". Also, I misspoke earlier, the reference is not C, the reference is H. So, an alkyl group is more electron donating than if a hydrogen were at that position.
3) The site made me realise groups that have double bonds to an electronegative group (eg C=O, O=N-O) are -M, groups with a lone electron pair (halogens, NH2...) are +M. What about all the other groups that dont fit in these two categories such as alkyl groups and CF3 ect?
They don't exhibit a M effect, as they cannot resonate. Their activity and effect on substitution patterns is a result of their inductive effect and their steric effect (search that previous link for the phrase "steric" to jump to that part).
I've spent so much time on this, probably wasnt worth it >.<
It is important you understand this. If you can get a firm grasp on how inductive, resonance and steric effects influence these things, you will be able to reason substitution patterns for pretty much any case.
EDIT - Its been over a year since i learnt about hybridisation...so, with mesomeric effect, it all has to do with pi electrons right, what about lone pair electrons, they arent necessarily pi electrons right? How come a +M effect is usually a result of substituents with an atom adjacent to the benzene ring that has a lone pair of electrons?
Correct, lone pairs are not necessarily pi electrons. And +M effects are about pi electrons or lone pairs, as those are the electrons with an ability to resonate. +M is usually found with lone pairs, because those the most typical case where electrons have the ability to resonate into the ring. However, you can imagine a system, like
this except with a double bond conjugated to the ring. This system is really just a fancy NH2, because the conjugation donates into the ring, but it at least has you realize that it doesn't have to be a straight NH2 to qualify.