If you do use an open flame, use a crucible or ceramic material. If you must use glassware, keep the flame continually moving around the glassware, take it off for 2 or 3 seconds, then heat again for a few seconds. You should never just keep a full blown butane torch on a piece of glassware.
Also, don't be afraid to order a couple pieces of glassware online...people do it ALL the time. I think the paranoia level is a little too high surrounding DIY chemistry and science.
Sure, if you order pounds of nitrates and 5L round bottom flasks maybe someone might look into it, but small amounts here and there of random lab equipment is nothing. Should never let your government scare you about experimenting, as long as you are thinking about the safety of yourself and others, and dispose of waste properly, because in the end, that waste will end up back in your water supply, or your kids water supply.