[Sophia7X]

-When your mother asks you to clean your room, you recite the second law of thermodynamics. "Who am I to go against the laws of science?"

-You think optimists and pessimists have it all wrong because the glass is not half-full or half-empty. It is always full, half in the gaseous state and half in the liquid state.

-When you use ethanol for your experiments more than you use it for drinking.

[Honclbrif]

When you hear "chemical free" anything advertised and want to physically assault your television or radio. Also, the "Electron Energized Negatively Charged Water" and "aqua titanium energy bands" type things make me twitch too. Or those pads they used to sell that were supposed to suck every known toxin out through your feet. I remember the ads specifically mentioning that they remove Thulium. Seriously? Thulium?

However, as for 'nail on the head' identifiers of chemists, I think it it was Asimov who got it the best when he said you can immediately tell a chemist because they will pronounce "unionized" with four syllables and if you ask them to explain it, will not mention organized labor even once.

[spankythehippo]

When a kid asks you "How is soap made?", you go on an hour long lecture explaining saponification.

When a kid asks you "Why is the sky blue?", you go on another lecture describing the scattering of light, and how ozone is blue and is encasing the earth.

I'm out.

[zs3889]

- Every time you see a stop sign, you shout, "Cyclooctane!"

- You accidentally called your dog Benji "Benzene."

- When you saw the Red & Black headline about that weird UGA student, Ioulia Zaitseva, the first thing you thought was, "Hey, Zaitseva—like Zaitsev's rule!"

- You can draw some of the compounds listed on your shampoo bottle.

- It's becoming all too common that when you write the word "chemistry," you start it with CH3.

- To be politically correct, you've started referring to fat people as "sterically hindered."

[Alberto_Kravina]

This one happened to me:

you talk with your friends about the difficult separation you've just had, and everybody knows you talk about a column chromatography  

[Benzenelover]

-You go to a dating site (Because you're a nerd, and that's the only way you can meet chicks) and think of actual chemistry when you see people use the word chemistry.

-You refer to flavors and essential oils with their chemical name

-The lady at the scented candle shop knows you as the guy who buys all the pure essential oils

-You use the equilibrium calculation to calculate your odds of picking up a chick in a club or bar. (Ugly chicks are considered solvent, men are considered competing reagents)

[Chimie]

 - you're compelled to change your major because you can't practice it at HOME
and you're an ally to Whatever You Feel Compelled to Do, Don't approach. So, Eventually, Finance won.

 - you get excited by incomprehensible chemical material, trying your best to get it. COME ON, you're the CHEMIST
 
 - you're certain that colloid is a chemical substance although it doesn't carry a significant evidence of chemical change. Don't start a discussion. Save it, they won't believe you.
 
 - you're under a Verbal Destruction Effect, using equations to demonstrate an idea or take a note.


 - you still believe that one day, you'll come up with Youth Antidote when plastic surgery all over the world.


 - Enjoy Your life Chemists

[rhakeson]

   ...if you love solving chemical problems and has the curiosity of what composition the things around you made of.
      ...if you’re room walls is full of chemical symbol and formulas. LOL

[fledarmus]

you wonder why it's so hard to make tetrahedrons using tinker toys.

[Caustikola]

You buy baking soda not for baking but for experiments
you're always called 'chemist'
You prepare your bleach yourself
You always dream of preparing chemicals
your chem teacher is visibly frightened when you want to ask a question

[Caustikola]

You call BHC
1,2,3,4,5,6-hexachlorocyclohexane

[Caustikola]

When you see the name 'Borek' what comes first to your mind is boric acid, not a Chemical forums admin

[Alberto_Kravina]

...you miss all your appointments because your watch stands still due to the NMR measurements you take every day (happens to me nearly every day...)

[Sadi Carnot]

-Whenever you see someone say "omg" on the internet or over text, you expect it to be followed by Br and then realize they *probably* aren't talking about the Grignard reagent.

[genetic1]

... When you put up wall posters of the periodic table on the walls of your room instead of sports illustrated swimsuit girls.