chemistry isn't as "precise" as physics with respect to straight laws that never can be violated
there is one "law" (let's better say: a rule for calculating energies) which will apply in chemistry without exception nonetheless: the
quantum electrodynamics [this one alone includes the explanation for the strange behaviour of for example Mercury]
... but unfortunately we didn't even beginn*
) to seriously calculate systems with this tool: the equations almost always are too complicated to be solved
the little sister of QED (in fact, it is more like it's mother, as it's been developed a generation earlyer) is
quantum mechanics. it is not as "flawless"**
)as QED , but you can at least do
ab initio calculations the results of which will match reality, i.e. the molecules will do what you calculated to be the best for them.
but let's not be too cocky about this: still we can't calculate
ab initio even the behaviour of a single drop of pure water - the sheer numbers involved will eat up that much computerization time, it usually can't be done.
so, we're down to semiempirical approaches to the problem, introducing part of real values measured into the equations, to facilitate calculations: this will work, still timeconsuming, but will work.
at least for simple problems.
nevertheless, the results even of those calculations often are very cryptic, and can't be easily morphed into something like "chemical principles": they're more of a mathematical solution than something you can "grasp" as being part of a more general rule.
so, the more precise you want to be, i.e. the less "exceptions" you want to allow for, the less comprehensible (in a human , psychological sense ) the situation becomes.
as a result, we prefer to live with a patchwork of "local rules" in an ocean of uncertainties and in-betweens, sometimes as isolated from each other as the Easter Islands, sometimes more like the Hebrides, and every now and than more like a small and comfortable continent of knowledge .
the octet rule is such an "continent", and often will be presented to beginners in a way that sometimes embezzles that there's an ocean around, even with a continent.
your question is like standing at the shore of such an continent, and wondering what the situation with the islands out there might be.
Yes, there are , again, local rules out there which will be usefull: "stability of the half-filled shell" , "18 electrons rule" and thatlike
... but to learn them, and to learn how to apply them and how to predict what will happen, usually requires advanced chemical education.
this, on the other hand, should be accompanied by a lot of factual knowledge about what which substance will do, is like and how to understand it
so, in the beginning you'd better accept those exceptions from the octet rule and learn them by heart - at least for the time being
btw.: esp. sulfur is an element the understanding of it's bonding situation will chance over the years several times for you: first you will learn that often it's an exception to the octet rule (like for example in sulfuric acid)
then you will learn that the octet rule isn't violated at all for sulfuric acid, if you regard it as being formally charged at the sulphur as
(+II)S(-O
-)
2(OH)
2... and you will remain with the revelation, that only for SF
6 and thatlike there is octet-rule violation.
then you will learn about modern bonding theory, and strange bondings like "2 electrons-3-center-bonding" and thatlike, and suddenly SF
6 again becomes a molecule
obeying the octet rule (scroll up to p. 160 to study pictures of those bonds)
... and when you stay around in chemistry long enough for your PhD, this again will chance, when someone shows up with an article regarding QM-calculations of SF
6, claiming that at least a certain - if only smaller - amount of d-orbital-density is involved nevertheless
so , for the time being: just learn what higher elements would behave like, IMHO there is no other way
regards
Ingo
*
) if memory serves, first usefull calculation from Feynmann diagrams was done by the end of the 90'th - and there hasn't been much additional advancement since
**
)quantum mechanics is incompatible with Einsteins theory of relativity