@Kate,
I have to admit that I'm trying to wrap my head around where your point of difficulty is. Hydrolysis of ATP is an exergonic reaction in a normal, aqueous solution, which means that the process is spontaneous. However, realize that this process may not happen in an isolated way. In the cell, the spontaneous hydrolysis of ATP may be used to help drive another process that wouldn't otherwise happen spontaneously - that is, it can be used to do chemical work.
Maybe, think of ATP as the gunpowder in the cannon and some other chemical process as the ball. On its own the ball isn't going to go anywhere because to become fired up in the air takes gravitational work (it is initially in a state of low potential energy and to get to a state of high potential energy - up in the air - takes work). Now take a pile of gun powder and apply a spark. What happens? The gun powder ignites and explodes, but the energy released is wasted. Free chemical energy is released (as heat, sound, whatever) but that energy just dissipates into the environment because it's not engineered to be focused toward a useful endpoint. Now put the gunpowder instead in a cannon, and put the ball in the cannon, and what happens when you light the powder? The same amount of free energy is released, but this time the free energy is directly focused to do work on the ball due to the engineering of the systems - the design of the cannon allows the released energy to fling the heavy ball up in the air and, hopefully, rain unholy terror upon a city or ship. That is, the free energy liberated from the burning of the gunpowder performs useful work on the ball, allowing it to do something it wouldn't otherwise spontaneously do. Of course, there is still waste (heat, fire, sound) but a useful process has been completed.
In this analogy, the cannon, of course, is the cellular architecture which permits the released free energy from the gun powder burning (ATP hydrolysis) to be harnessed in a specific way, that is - flinging the ball up in the air (some needed but unfavorable cellular process).
I think part of the confusion may be that the informal language people use when talking about ATP (e.g., "high energy bonds" is sometimes confusing and not strictly rigorous. It is confusing to say that ATP releases energy by breaking a phosphate bond, when in fact it takes energy to break a bond. What we really mean to say is that the phosphate bond is not as strong as the bonds which are formed (plus the entropic factors) between the surrounding medium and free phosphate and ADP. It's the energy difference between products and reactants that are "high energy magnitude", not the energy of the ATP bond itself.
If that makes any sense...