[Borek]

English isn't easy!  Here are some thought provoking sentences that will make your eyes cross and head spin:

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger. 

Nor is there any apple or pine in pineapple. 

English muffins weren't invented in England and French fries weren't invented in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.  But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, two geese.  So one moose, two meese?  One index, two indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

[tennis freak]

another weird one is why do we drive on parkways but park on driveways?

[mike]

Interesting, no wonder people have trouble learning the language. More power to the people who have English as a Second Language (ESL)

[Will]

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down.

... and in which a tree can be cut down then cut up. Nice list Borek .

[tennis freak]

Interesting, no wonder people have trouble learning the language. More power to the people who have English as a Second Language (ESL)

definitely, all other languages are so much easier to learn. i am a native english speaker and am learning spanish. i have a higher grade in spanish than i do in english.

[billnotgatez]

It is too hard to eat two apples in one bite.
I find that many people who post get these mixed up.
For instance
It was to hard.
One plus one is to.
I forgive the people that have English as a second language.
I can not speell or tipe and my grammar passed on several years ago.

[xiankai]

if u try saying out some of the sentences, the differing syllables of the same word with different meanings make them stand out; i guess thats why its easier to learn how to speak than to learn how to write

[Borek]

Depends on the way you have learnt language, for me English is mostly written/readed languge, not spoken one

[billnotgatez]

I have heard that the use of English differs from country to county.
For instance, knocking a girl up in the USA has a different meaning in the UK.
Or, going for a ride with a girl in the UK has a different meaning in the USA.

[Borek]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_and_British_English_differences

[billnotgatez]

    His death, which happen'd in his berth,
    At forty-odd befell:
    They went and told the sexton, and
    The sexton toll'd the bell

            Thomas Hood, "Faithless Sally Brown"



http://www.cooper.com/alan/homonym_list.html
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~cellis/heteronym.html
http://www.onetrickwords.com/  check Untruisms
http://www.funbrain.com/whichword/index.html
http://jonv.flystrip.com/heteronym/heteronym.htm
http://a4esl.org/q/h/homonyms.html
http://www.fun-with-words.com/nym_heteronyms.html
http://www.rhlschool.com/eng3n15.htm
http://www.taupecat.com/personal/homophones/
http://wsuonline.weber.edu/wrh/words.htm
http://www.answers.com/topic/homonym

[Mitch]

evryon jst spll as bst as yu cn. Thts all I ask.

[constant thinker]

This is all pretty funny. My mom is 51 now and is originally from Quebec, Canada. She learnt english at 15 and now, 36 years later, she still mixes up so many things and says things backwards sometimes. By backwards I mean instead of red car it's car red.

Some parts of the U.S. say things completely different from other parts. They use different terminology like Freeway for the West Coast instead of Highway for the East Coast.

They do say English is one of the hardest languages in the world to learn.

[ATMyller]

When man is not a man? When she is a woman.
It's a piece of cake to eat a piece of cake.
You can get fired and fired at.

[vmelkon]

Wow, a really old thread but I liked that first post from Borek.

Personally, I have wondered what the deal is with Chicago.
Compare that to chair, China, cherry, chear.
And then there is chiral which some pronounce it as kiral.

I'm in Canada so I have seen the differences between Canada and the USA.
For example, the pronunciation of professional.
In the USA, they say "prEfessional" and in Canada, I've heard "prOfessional".
Also, prEfessor and prOfesser.

For the alphabet, the letter z is call zee in the US (such as Z-28) and zed in Canada. For some reason, when it comes to a Z-28, everyone in Canada uses the US version.

English is a second language for me as well. I tend to use the US version of professional and professor. I think I got use to it from TV.